The end of comically bad fiction

Sadly, the Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest has finally come to a close. Over 40 years of comically bad opening lines to imaginary novels still reside at the website, though.

https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/about

The original, penned by Lord Byron Bulwer-Lytton himself in 1830:

“It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents—except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness."