The Three S Rule

 Shoot, shovel and shut up.

Once upon a time, on a military base not to be mentioned, we built a great new obstacle course in the woods. Less than a week after construction finished, we got a notice from the EPA about the need to protect an area of ten yards around certain plants beginning October first. This being mid-September, I grabbed a shovel and a tape measure, and spent a profitable day at the new confidence course and along the paths leading to it. 

Come October, there were no protected plants anywhere nearby.

More about me than you really wanted to know

 From the comments to John Wilder's post on fasting for health.

Your comment about weighing less now than you did in HS made me ponder. My BMI as a Senior in high school was under 16. I had to gain weight to join the Army. Never mind the fact that I could back-press 800 pounds or ab-press 600 pounds (the max on the machines) until I got bored. Now I’m in my 50’s, medically retired, with 3 busted discs, and a BMI of, oh, let’s see… 42. No, I’m not diabetic. My total cholesterol is now 86, up from 32 back when I was twenty (oh, how the doctors hated me). Ah, the memories, health and metabolism of youth.

No, I’m not retired for the bad back. That happened later. (I’m a veteran. I’m disabled. I’m not a disabled veteran.) Migraine with brainstem aura and IBS, after one too many high fevers. (I survived 109 degrees with no treatment back when I was 13. I was unconscious for a week on the living room couch. Why yes, my parents were a bit dim and quite willing to let me die, thanks for asking.) I have all the side effects. And I’m resistant to or have serious reactions (some permanent) to every class of medication that might help. The doctor’s experiments were… unpleasant. (The experimental beef blood medicine was really tasty, but did nothing at all.) Some days I can walk. Some days I can talk. Once or twice a week I can do both, and that’s when we get groceries. (Migraines and IBS are related, as both are neurological disorders. The gut has half the neuron count of the brain, and the two communicate constantly. The same medicines are used to treat both.  Most doctors don't know this.)

But anyways, I tried Atkins back when it was popular. It works. But the desire for bread becomes really strong after a couple of weeks. Weight Watchers also works, because any diet plan that boils down to “eat less, work more” will work if you do it every day. It will work better if you lower your carb intake, of course.

Quatloos or Newbucks? The Egg!

So, after the collapse of the USA into Mad Max style anarchy, then the recreation of warring states, then the restoration of continental empire, what shall we call our currency?  My favorite names are Quatloos or Newbucks, but I'm a traditionalist.

But on a more serious topic, on what shall we base our money?  Gold and silver are traditional, but there is only so much, and our growing population (gotta encourage young couples to have more children, 'cause that's how the future happens) should not be restrained by something as arbitrary as the weight of metal in some vault.  I propose:  the egg.  Specifically, the current USDA large egg, grade A (which is a measure of freshness).

No, wait, I'm totally serious.  Okay, laugh, but then keep reading.

 

Eggs cannot be profitably hoarded.  They cannot be faked.  They cannot be digitized.  They have intrinsic value, but only for a little while.  Eggs are produced by farmers, the real backbone of any economy, but are only seriously valuable in the cities, where you can't raise your own chickens.  They must be produced and distributed daily, all year long, or people get hungry, then angry.

Eggs are inflation and deflation resistant.  You cannot sell half an egg.  An egg next year is still an egg.  An egg 50 years from now will still be an egg.  If the demand for eggs goes up, the price of chicken (and corn, etc.) will also rise as farmers adjust their production.  If the demand for eggs goes down, the price of chicken (and corn, etc.) will also go down as farmers adjust their production.

Imagine bankers and stock brokers waiting breathlessly to hear the quarterly farm report.

For reference, looking back a few decades, the retail price of a gross of large eggs correlates fairly well to the price of an ounce of silver.  I have to admit, though, that I think a coin with an egg-shaped hole in the middle would be really cool.